User's Manual

if you want comfort over clarity Put this manual down now

User's Manual
I come with no assembly required
     but some warnings apply

handle with honesty
     not gentleness
          I am not porcelain
     I am river rock
          already worn smooth
     by heavier currents 
than yours

when I go quiet
     don't mistake it
          for distance
     sometimes I am simply
          listening to something
     you can't hear yet

I work best
     in the early morning
          when the valley still
    clings to the fog
          and again at dusk
     when the deer come down
          from the ridge

do not ask me
     to choose between solitude
          and companionship
     I need both
          like wolves need
     the pack
          and the long hunt 
                                    alone

I will tell you the truth
     even when it cuts
          especially when it cuts
     if you want comfort
          over clarity
     Put this manual down now


feed me silence
     feed me laughter
          feed me questions
     that have no easy answers
          I starve
     on small talk

I give loyalty
     not conditionally
          but absolutely
     once you are in
          you are in
     like a tree root
          splitting bedrock

but I also give space
     I will not cling
          or require constant proof
     trust me to return
          from my wandering
     like the river
          always finds its way back
     to the same stones

do not try to fix me
     when I am processing
          grief or doubt
     just sit beside me
             faithful and quiet
          until I am ready
     to walk again

I forgive slowly
     I never forget 
          this is not a flaw
     this is a feature
          wolves remember
     who fed them
          and who left them
     
expect poetry
     at odd hours
          expect me to notice
     the shape
          of light on water
     and stop everything
          to watch it

I do not need you
     to complete me
          I need you
     to meet me
          where I already am
     whole and hungry
          for something true

when I love
     I love like a forest fire
          consuming and bright
     and when it passes
          the soil is richer
     for what burned

so if you're looking
     for easy
          for manageable
     for someone who
          fits in a frame

keep looking

but if you want
     the kind of friend
          who remembers
     what you said three years ago
          who will drive through the night
     if you call
          who will tell you
     when you're wrong
          and stay anyway

here I am
          brave enough
     to read your manual
          and still say yes